It all led up to this moment.
Talk of injuries, pains, loss and grief that have an opportunity to bring much clarity and acceptance into so many people's lives. How often we attempt to have control over our emotions, physical movements and words so much that it slowly builds and boils under the surface waiting to explode..
I had been taking care of family issues that were draining me completely. So much that I was feeling sucked dry on a daily basis and slowly loosing touch with myself. This was a familiar feeling.. I was very used to taking care of my family and never knowing the limit before it became clearly too much. So here I was again, in this familiar feeling, having discussions about balancing giving and receiving energies that all led me up to my yoga class at the rock gym two days ago.
I came into the class, already drained and upset towards a family issue I had earlier in the day. The only thing I wanted to do was help myself and others to get grounded and stable through the feet. So, because rock climbers primarily use there feet and legs to help move and dance up the side of a mountain or plastic, I designed a class around strengthening the toes or as I call them, your "roots."
We worked on lifting the toes, spreading them, especially the "pinky" toe in nearly every pose. From a simple standing forward fold to downward face dog, straight into a lunge I said " Lift your toes, spread them! Lift your Pinky toe, bring your awareness down into your roots! Breathe into them..." And as I walked around poking peoples toes and making people laugh, I reminded everyone that working your toes will help build a better foundation for a healthier and grounded YOU.
So we're making our way from Crow pose into a Tripod inversion variation and I went over to help a student. Great placement of my toes, assisting his hips and one wrong turn of my foot to assist his fall led into an excruciating pain up my ankle, a feeling of throwing up and the room went dark. I panicked.
Not knowing what to do with my throbbing ankle, I told everyone it was fine and to sit down on their mats because we still had 15 min of the class to do. I continued to teach. It really was the only thing I could and knew how to do at the moment.
We all said "Namaste" and people started to trickle out of the class, as others came over to assist me up. We didn't know how bad the injury was and honestly I still don't. That wasn't the point.
My injury was on my left ankle. Energetically, that is my feminine side (receiving end). Unfortunately, the only thing I had been receiving all month was STRESS. Clearly, it made sense, that I had a block.
Once again, I needed to follow my own advice and start working on my receiving end so my ankle could heal. But in order for my ankle to heal, I had to heal my internal feelings first. I need to learn how to speak my truth especially around the times I feel like things are a little too much. It is very easy for me to let others suck me dry, but I can't continue to let that happen. Relationships are about learning how to give and receive as well as learn how to be your authentic self so you have the ability to share and experience love.
This yoga class was the perfect prep for me sitting on the couch for the next week or so. I have a lot to process and integrate. Time to release old patterns so I can make room for some new ones.
Author: Sarah Daigle
Sarah has been a writer her entire life. She has written lyrics for other artists and her own music, collaborated in spoken words, written articles, stories, poems and always has a journal on hand to note all the quirky observations that she sees.